1. |
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2. |
Broken Glass
05:00
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Round 2, Who Are You
Staring at Me
Never seen such beauty in your touch
through those cracks and kinks
what I find in me
damaged,
I'm damaged
In your touch imperfection exist
with your lust of feeling complete
what can you do
where can you go
when you're scattered
Just like the pieces of glass on the floor
That night I heard a splat, I never looked back
Through my feelings I
Discovered the darkness inside
Broken glass
Round 2, who are you staring at me
when I heard that splat I never looked back
when I heard that splat
And watched the glass the fall back
through the glass I see the lost layers in me
Broken glass
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3. |
Sea of Misery
03:49
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When you go out there
Do you forget about us
well I've got a locket of you darlin
It's in my heart, torn apart
Well I've got a locket of you darlin
It's in my heart torn apart
So deep, in me, in the abyss
Empty
So deep, in me, in the sea of misery
what's a fishing line to a feather
Well you know when you drink from that shitty well you're stuck
In this hell
Sometimes it feels like
Scattered pieces bury you each piece covering a piece of you
That feels long gone
In your timeline of masks, which one are you, wearing today
or is it just your mind overthinking again
Well I've got a locket of you darlin it's in my heart, torn
So deep , in me, it's killing me, in the sea of misery
How did we get here?
Reel me in, your reel me in
Reel me in
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4. |
Twoface
05:31
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Twoface is what they said
It looks like you're dead
It's almost like I don't know you anymore
Maybe you should let go
It's almost like I don't know you anymore
Let go
I like to cut the rope around us
Out of fear, My Dear
Well my life isn't going up
It looks like stuck
Well my life isn't going up
You're right, I'm stuck
It's almost like I don't know you anymore
You should let go
It's almost like I don't know you anymore
Let go
I flushed these 2 years down
Looks like I'm stuck
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5. |
Living Fast, Going Fast
00:15
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6. |
Watered Down
05:47
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Maybe if just stopped complaining, just do the damn thing
And not over think, things would get done
It always ends like this, can't tell
If I'm overthinking of the idea of if
everything I'm feeling or thinking is fake
Or that I'm hiding behind this image I've created of myself
Becuz if I really felt comfortable in my skin I wouldn't hide (supposedly)
Becuz if I really felt comfortable in my skin I wouldn't lie (supposedly)
Baby aren't you so perfect, you're so nice
If you really felt comfortable in your skin you wouldn't hide
Baby aren't you so perfect you're so nice
if you really felt comfortable in your skin you wouldn't hide
Live your life, your lie
And don't you come back, I've done all I've can
Baby aren't you so perfect you're so nice
You runaway on broken egg shells doesn't this trail seems familiar you fall back down.
Baby aren't you so perfect, you're so nice
If you really felt comfortable in your skin you wouldnt hide
Ripped from your roots, teared from the ground
Put it in a lot , water it down
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7. |
That Tranny Sound
00:26
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8. |
Dead End Happiness
05:03
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Hey Happiness
I don't know ya
Hey Happiness
I'm gonna show you up
What happens when you abrupt
There's only so much you can cover up
Looking for those book covers again
you're rolling with 6 of diamonds and queen jack
How are you going to confront that
All this time still ain't learn a damn thing
You can't beat around the bush with me
Nothing's Ever Good Enough, What's the point of living anyway
Howcome it feels like you aren't hitting the nail with things you say
I'm on a road of dead end happiness
Hitching a ride with my mistakes and imperfections
I'm a road of dead end happiness
Hitching a ride with my mistakes and imperfections
I can't runaway from me here
Hitching a ride with thelma & Louise sailing
I'm on a road of dead end happiness
Why can't I go off the cliff, will things ever be the same again
why can't I go off the cliff, the cliff feels so freeing
Will I get smacked back to the beginning
this all feels so tiring will I get stuck here?
why can't I go off the cliff, the cliff feels so freeing
will things ever be the same again will I get smacked back to the beginning
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9. |
Half and Half
03:12
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I walked into the open wind of the snow
wanting it to blow me away
got cold feet, turnt away
just like every fucking thing
I was lost and never found
in a whirlwind of everything i was around
oh how amazing grace can sound
how high do you wanna go
baby. i'm feeling so low
how high do you wanna go
im tryna find control
so suck and take everything you can get
to fill the void of feeling human x2
don't let them take away your ability to make mistakes
don't let them take away your tongue
get out while you can , don't turn back without your heart and your demons
don't beat yourself
get out while you can, don't turn back without your heart and your demons
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10. |
Letter to My Older Self
06:56
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āLetter to my older self
Iām sorry
Everything I did to get us here
I thought I did for everyone I cared about
thereās something about this stained wine that wonāt come off the counter top
these trinkletās of vodka to pass me by
to light a spark
clawing onto distorted realities that ripped like fabric
desperately falling through the tangles
I had it all figured out
yelling onto the phone , āIāve been through this all ā
When I didnāt really know at all
But i never gave it much thought
when I didnāt really know
So tell me how you sleep
So tell me have you found your peace .
So tell me will I get to see
So tell me have you stop your dwelling
silence can be comforting but this feels heavy
It keeps on knocking
the what ifās,
Is there a way to hold you all? In between my arms, and torn heart
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11. |
Bookend of Me
03:37
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Bookend of Me
I did it again
I fell for the illusion
Iām jealous again
It seems like Iām back at
The same place I began
Itās a bookend of me
Itās a bookend of me
I always wore my heart under my sleeve
I canāt stop I want to get rid of this emptiness
I eat my feelings why canāt this go way from my
Why canāt this emptiness go
Seems like Iām back at the same place I began
Itās a bookend of me
I always wore my heart under my sleeves
ashamed and afraid at the thought of showing my feelings
I always wore my heart under my sleeves
Second guessing them all at once
Unsure and Forever processing (don't leave)
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12. |
Pathetic
06:23
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ask yourself what to do want from this
ask yourself what do you want
i donāt know what to do
back to square one with everything
it just seems like your the last piece of the puzzle that they latch on
of a son that was never was
sometimes I latch on too, as if he could complete me
and things would be great again
but would they though
as the puzzle is crushing me
i close my eyes to see the future ahead of me
dark, bleak, fearful of everything
as my sticky desperate hands cant turn ahead the page, as my sticky desperate hands canāt turn back
maybe I should stop listening to these love songs and watching these romantic comedies x3
to end the fantasy of being happy for once
for a day, for a week, for a month, forever and day
i want to be loved by someone who wants to know all of the unknown of me
of me x3
the doves are flying around me x2
so boringā
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13. |
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I wait for something good to happen for once
Because Iām losing grip
My fingers are starting to slip
And Iām thinking of letting go
Back in the cycle, back in the same place
Youāre getting old
We get it
Seeking pity for those impulsive decisions
What can you do to cope ?
Because having fun and connections to people seems broken
What can you do to cope?
Because my mask of self deprecation is getting old
What can you do to cope?
How can you go forward
Feel forced to push through
Feel forced to prove
Did you think youād find yourself underneath those burnt bridges x2
What if I fall behind
In this shell of myself, in this pile of mess x2
How do I go forward
Will my dreams hatch, is it time for me to act
will my dreams hatch and this time not get smashed
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14. |
Deathwish
04:06
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One day itāll all make sense
Iām after my deathwish
They canāt take that away from me x2
Iām search of my soul (oh yeah)
I hope that bitch comes back I could use her right now
Feels so empty with the sores, and tears
No matter what i do, nothing feels right
I suck at goodbyes too
All these tears, all these fears
I canāt feel
One day itāll all make sense
Iām after my deathwish
They canāt take that away from me .
Canāt rip me in two, inside is whatās really true, canāt hide
Why wonāt you love whatās true
Canāt rip me in two, inside is whatās really true canāt hide
Leaving me broken worse than I was before
I hope you understand
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15. |
RuRu
03:47
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there are some things you'll never know about me
but i hope what's most important showed
how i loved you and i cared for you
no matter how far, didn't matter where we are
it's been hard for me to celebrate your life, when i didn't get the chance to say goodbye
i hope you are proud of the person i became, and not ashamed
i know there's no reason to explain because you'd understand, i know you'd understand.
till i see you face again, i'll say goodbye keep you by my side
cuz you loved me, and i love ya too
ruru
till i see your face again, i'll say goodbye keep you by my side
cuz you loved me, and i love ya too
ruru
we'll talk all the time with you, by my side
that's not good enough sometimes
up with there your mother, with your brother, and sister too
up there with your mother, with your brother, and Antoine too
when we meet again, time won't separate you and me
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16. |
Heads and Tails
03:36
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my life feels like a room of people who donāt know each other
And they donāt talk
And iām the elephant, weighting it down
Second string replacement
Breeze thatās there and gone
Wanting you to see me and hear me
catching up to myself feels more fulfiling
In my past Iāve given up on people to easily
Iām afraid of next time you'll leave me
Canāt stop my living
Whereās the line for me
In my past iāve given up on people easily
Iām afraid of the next time youāll leave me
Thereās no right, or perfect answer
Whereās the line for me
What was all this for?
But what if i don't wanna let go
What if i don't truely donāt know
Whatever it may be
iām going to see, and hear me
Head and tails, thatās the hard part of accepting
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17. |
Honesty
03:28
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Green is my favorite color since you've been gone
Everything has lost all of its color
the lights are too bright
head to the ground, too many feelings that cannot be found
all i know is uncertainty
connection is lost
stuck in mirror
chasing reflections
barnicles in the glass
pile onto to me
i guess this is who i am
i guess this is my premade hospital bed
how long will i be living here?
with barnicles they grow and change
i don't think i wanna be the same
you just don't wake up with a pretty face like this, and all the masks
stapled in
i guess this who i am
where's your anarchy, baby, where's your anarchy
i guess this is who i am
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18. |
Bound of Hope
04:34
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What do you believe
What brings you here, what made you so fake happy
I still donāt know how to say it
But iāll say yes anyway
Because it sounds so nice
Since we are all living our separate lives
I hope this makes you feel alive as i feel dead inside
But iāll say yes anyway
Carving the lost meaning
Pulling knives out from the words i canāt find
To describe
With the tool you gave me
I hope youāre proud of me
And it hurts
With the faces i canāt see, the perceptions of me, unstable battered feet
Iāll keep picking flowers, and living in this glass
Lighting the match to blaze a trail
Failing to find the spark
To set you free
to set me free
A bound of hope wrapped in all the things ugly, between you and me
I'll wear you back and forth
I'll say
We'll unwind finally
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19. |
Shooting Star
06:37
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So you are what you are
So you wish to be a star
Don't know where to begin
Afraid of how it will end
Don't know where to begin afraid of how it will end
time to strip naked and let go
and be the glass image you want
time to strip naked and remove the makeup
and be Lawrence again
but when you look at yourself you know there so no turning back
and then you look at yourself you know that you feel glad
and then you look at yourself you know that this is you naked
it's me Lawrence again
So you you're a shooting star
flailing up and down
All around
But you never hit the ground
Why won't you hit the ground, now
Don't you forget
Living image of your mother , living image of your father
you carry their dreams everyday
Don't know where to begin, afraid of how it will end
Don't you forget
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little trouble girl Olympia, Washington
I'm writing a musical with my music, called "Keeping the Dream Alive". The journey begins with you. Fallen angels, fly high!
ššš«
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